Counting Every Blessing

Sometimes we wake up, and we immediately start counting our grumblings. The beeping alarm clock, the annoying sibling, the stuffy nose... It is easy to count all the irritations we come across in life. But have you ever tried to literally count your blessings?

At American Heritage Girls Camp this summer, the leaders put out a little jar and some paper and a pen. They called it the "Joy Jar", and that week they invited us campers to put our joys in it. Each evening, the worship leaders read the joys that had been put in the jar that day to us all.

The girls at the camp put many different kinds of joys in the jar. Some joys were little things like seeing a butterfly, a frog, or a bird. Some were bigger things, like "friends" or the name of a staff member. On the first day of the Joy Jar, I put in a note about how fun canoeing was.

Whenever the leaders read all the things individual girls had been grateful for that day, the rest of us would share those girls' joys with them. We would clap and even chant. "Joy Jar, Joy Jar, Joy Jar..."

Of course, it isn't always easy to name your blessings, but I decided to bring a bit of the experience home. When camp ended and I came home, I found a jar and wrote "joy jar" on the front and "feel free to contribute" on the back.

I got into the habit of writing a few joys each week--and I actually found it pretty fun. When I think about gratefulness, it reminds me of the song, "Counting Every Blessing" by Rend Collective. Half of the chorus often gets stuck in my head.

I am counting every blessing, counting every blessing

Surely every season you are good to me

My siblings and I used to sing that song a lot. God is good, and it feels good to remember His goodness, doesn't it?

I told my eleven-and-a-half-year-old sister, Selah, about my joy jar, and she took on the challenge to help me fill it up. I knew ungratefulness could be like the flu, but I didn't know how contagious thankfulness could be! Last week we counted the blessings of this summer, and (by Selah's estimation) they came to a total of 105!

Our next goal is to have another hundred notes about what we are thankful for by the end of August. Selah is excited and was scribbling down lots of things one night. Movies and dishwashers and sparkles... so much to be grateful for! The Bible has its own list of things, too!

Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things. - Psalm 107:8-9 (ESV)

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit... - Titus 3:3-5 (ESV)

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. - James 1:17 (ESV)

Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. - Habukkuk 3:17-18 (ESV)

There is infinite goodness to thank God for, so why not spend our lives "counting every blessing"?

How to Do a Big Project in a Big Family Part 4 - Bathing the littles

(See the introduction and other posts first if you haven’t!)

Like with House Bingo, if you do it right, jobs being uneven can be an advantage. But with simpler things, if people all want the same job, there will be a lot of quarreling. Sometimes it seems like taking the hardest job is all you can do. But it is not.

You can divide work well.

Twice a week (or more) the time comes when all four little ones who don’t bathe themselves need a bath. The other six bigger kids need to bathe them. Sometimes the bathroom can get really full and noisy. And wet. People all want to bathe the easiest to bathe kid (the biggest of the littles) and get out of the rest.

I spotted the problem and decided we needed an assembly line. I made a list of the jobs:

• finding clothing for afterwards
• getting kids into the bath and washing their hair
• bathing their bodies and getting them out
• drying them off plus odd jobs
• lotioning them
• clothing them

I added “odd jobs” to the drying job to even it up a bit, but everyone still wanted it. How would I decide to whom to give it? How could I do it in a way people wouldn’t argue? And how to make sure the younger big kids don’t get overly difficult jobs?

I distributed the jobs from youngest to oldest (to the big kids). Nobody argued because I was the oldest and the younger ones should get simpler jobs. Well, a few kids still wanted the drying job but I told them they were too big for it.

And this strategy can be applied to plenty of other things!

Like making breakfast burritos. Nobody wants to make the bacon. Everyone wants to cook the tortillas. I take the bacon-making to get rid of that quarrel. Then I tell them if they cook the tortillas, they also have to put together the breakfast burritos, serve them and clean up. That leaves one person who still wants to make them and the others are content with other jobs.

Now it is time to think about how you can encourage your family to cooperate and avoid social loafing. Let me know if this helps!

How to Do a Big Project in a Big Family Part 3 - The Shovel & Dark Vader of the Kitchen

See the introduction and other posts if you haven’t!)

People need motivation. And if you are one of those people who offer your kids/siblings candy (or money) every time they do something, no offense, but eventually you’ll run out of candy and your kids/siblings’ll have cavities.

My solution is to instead offer them power. Sugar-free.

When all the kids go outside to battle the weeds, they tend to get lazy. Fast. The sun beating down. The lack of prospect of victory against everlasting weeds. You get the idea.

I noticed this problem and another as well. I saw that it was very inefficient for everyone to have to get up regularly to put their weeds in the green waste. So I appointed someone (the first to come outside for weeding) to carry a shovel around and collect people’s weeds for them. A very easy job. Consequently, everyone wanted it.

So the shovel got passed to someone new every five minutes. But not just anyone. The person who — in the shovel carrier’s opinion — weeded the hardest or the most. Now, not only were they weeding to get the easy job, but also for the power of choosing the next person.

This solution:

- encourages people to come outside for weeding fast, because the first to come out got the first turn with the shovel

- added a helpful position where somebody collects what has been weeded

- compelled people to weed more

The kids wanted the shovel both:

- to have an easy job

- and for the power to choose the next shovel person

I use the same strategy when we clean the kitchen and pick up after dinner.

If a few siblings choose to join something called the “Darth Vader system,” they will take turns being “Darth Vader” each evening. “Darth Vader” gets to choose who in the “Darth Vader system” gets what job.

People join the system for the power of being Vader every once and a while and then put themselves subject to the other Vaders’ authority. Since Darth Vader’s job is to make sure the people of the system work efficiently, this strategy works pretty well.

The Darth Vader is in charge of dividing the work, and, especially with complicated tasks, “divide and conquer” is a big deal. More on dividing work next time.

How to Do a Big Project in a Big Family Part 2 - House Bingo

(See the introduction and first post if you haven’t!)

Competition is social loafing’s worst enemy. Social loafing is when everyone tries to the least possible, while competition is when everyone tries to do the most. If everyone keeps a competitive spirit, I can guarantee you won’t have social loafing.

So make it competitive.

Instead of the normal house-cleaning checklist, one day I made a chart. Columns for jobs — picking up, sweeping, mopping, etc. — and rows for rooms — living room, kitchen, hallway, etc.

Once I had came up with many rows and columns, I had many unique boxes. “Mop kitchen,” “Sweep hallway,” “Pick up in living room.” Each box you sign is a point, and each completed row or column you help with is three points.

The ingenuity of this was that not all tasks were equal. This created a race to do the easy things. Even the most slothful kids wanted to get the easy tasks, so they finished each one quickly to go to the next one. Thus, they weren’t slothful anymore!

When I saw which few bigger tasks people shied away from, I wrote a generous amount of points the doer of this chore would get. And hence, workers raced for the hard jobs!

At the same time they raced to complete rows of chores (e.g. sweeping every room) and with all the racing, everything got done! It was super competitive and efficient, and everyone was proud of the checked boxes at the end. Even the younger kids worked hard to get more points than each other. It was beautiful.

Applying competition to weeding also produces much efficiency, as you will see in an example next time.